Olly Murs recalled the heartbreaking moment he discovered his friend Caroline Flack had passed away.
The Voice UK judge, 35, admitted he ‘felt’ numb when his manager told him the news about his former X Factor co-host, who took her own life aged 40 at her flat in north-east London last month.
A few weeks on, the musician confessed he’s experiencing ‘constant waves of emotions’ as he attempts to come to terms with his grief over her death.
‘I was numb, I just didn’t want to believe it’: Olly Murs recalled the heartbreaking moment he discovered his friend Caroline Flack had passed away (pictured together in 2015)
The pair worked together from 2011 until 2012 on The Xtra Factor before fronting the main competition series show in 2015.
The singer – who was on holiday at the time of her passing – said in a new interview: ‘I’m still in shock, really. To think I won’t have a conversation, a laugh, work, or even just get a random voice note from Cazza again — I just can’t get my head around it.
‘My phone went at 2.23am and I’ll never forget it. My manager told me and I just stared at my phone for hours, I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t want to believe it. I was numb to any feelings and then I just broke down.’
Admitting he still struggles to accept her death, he told The Sun: ‘Since then I just have constant waves of emotions — one minute I’m OK, the next I’m so sad for her. It’s hard, I’ll always miss Caz a lot.’
‘I’ll always miss Caz’: The Voice UK judge, 35, admitted he ‘felt’ numb when his manager told him the news about his former X Factor co-host, who took her own life aged 40 last month
‘It’s hard’: A few weeks on, the musician confessed he’s experiencing ‘constant waves of emotions’ as he attempts to come to terms with his grief over her death (pictured last month)
Last month, Olly shared a his first heartfelt tribute to Caroline, who was found dead just hours after being told she would face trial over the alleged assault of her boyfriend Lewis Burton.
In an emotional post uploaded onto Instagram, he confessed he was ‘worried’ about his ‘fragile sister’ and revealed he reached out to the ITV star during her ‘toughest’ times.
‘Caz… f**k this hurts! My heart is forever broken.. I’ve lost something today that I’ll never ever get back.. and that’s you’, the grieving musician said.
‘I haven’t stopped crying’: Last month, Olly shared a heartbreaking tribute to Caroline after she took her own life aged 40 at her new flat in north-east London (pictured in November 2015)
The singer reflected on their first encounter nine years ago and gushed about how their working relationship developed into a solid friendship.
He explained: ‘From the first moment we met in Birmingham 2011 and had literally 10mins to say hello, get mic’d up and head out to work together on Xtra.’
Olly – who was rumoured to be dating the media personality during their time on the ITV show – added: ‘We never stopped laughing, flirting (who can forget that), eating cheeseburger chasers, singing (which I always loved hearing), the arguments (which I never won)…
Close: They worked together from 2011 until 2012 on The Xtra Factor before fronting the main show in 2015 (pictured in October 2012)
Emotional: In an emotional post shared onto Instagram, the musician =admitted he hasn’t stopped crying since discovering the news of his late friend
‘We didn’t see each other as much as we should have’: Olly admitted the pair drifted after they parted ways from X Factor, but would often keep in contact over the phone
‘The disagreements on what jokes to say or what outfits you should wear, these are the moments I’ve always cherished but right now as I write this it’s hit me I won’t have them moments again.’
The Heart Skips a Beat hitmaker admitted the pair drifted after they parted ways from X Factor, but would often keep in contact over the phone.
He added: ‘I haven’t stopped crying since the news, after we stopped working together in 2015 we didn’t see each other as much as we should have…
‘But we always spoke on the phone or messaged plus whenever I did see ya out and about, like a sister we’d just kiss and make up and was back being us every single time.’
CAROLINE FLACK: A CALL FOR HELP?
Caroline Flack spoke often about her struggles, both in interviews and on social media.
Caroline said, following her Strictly success: ‘Fame doesn’t make you happy’
STRICTLY CURSE?
The Strictly Come Dancing 2014 winner has said that she felt depressed following her victory on the BBC show.
After she won the series along with professional partner Pasha Kovalev, she admitted that she felt like she was ‘being held together by a piece of string which could snap at any time’.
In an unearthed interview cited by the Daily Star following her death, Caroline claimed that, ‘It all started the day after I won Strictly. I woke up and felt like somebody had covered my body in clingfilm. I couldn’t get up and just couldn’t pick myself up at all that next year.’
She went on: ‘People see the celebrity lifestyle and assume everything is perfect, but we’re just like everyone else. Everyone is battling something emotional behind closed doors – that’s life.
Ignored? ‘When I actually reached out to someone they said I was draining,’ Caroline admitted in October 2019
‘Fame doesn’t make you happy.’
‘BEING A BURDEN IS MY BIGGEST FEAR’
In an Instagram post she uploaded on 14 October 2019 – to mark World Mental Health Day – Caroline captioned a photo of herself: ‘Some days it’s hard to write your feelings of your not in the right place.
‘The last few weeks I’ve been in a really weird place… I find it hard to talk about it… I guess it’s anxiety and pressure of life… and when I actually reached out to someone they said I was draining.
‘I feel like this is why some people keep their emotions to themselves. I certainly hate talking about my feelings. And being a burden is my biggest fear…
‘I’m lucky to be able to pick myself up when things feel s**t. But what happens if someone can’t. Be nice to people. You never know what’s going on. Ever.’ [sic]
SOCIAL SILENCE
Signs of suicide? She liked tweets about calling The Samaritans over Christmas
Caroline was told to stay off social media following her assault charge in December 2019.
However, she notably liked a string of tweets in the days afterwards, before Christmas, encouraging those feeling lonely over the holidays to seek help.
The tweets – posted by the likes of actress Sheridan Smith, journalist Stacey Dooley and comedian Luke Kempner – included the telephone number for The Samaritans’ suicide hotline.
She also posted to Instagram around the same time: ‘This kind of scrutiny and speculation is a lot to take on for one person to take on their own… I’m a human being at the end of the day and I’m not going to be silenced when I have a story to tell and a life to keep going with…
‘I’m taking some time out to get feeling better and learn some lessons from situations I’ve got myself into to. I have nothing but love to give and best wishes for everyone.’
SELF-HELP?
It was reported that Caroline had decided to write a book, during her recent time off.
‘Caroline has found the process incredibly cathartic,’ one of her friends told the Mail. ‘She wants it to be more than just a story about her. She wants to talk about the problems she’s encountered and how she’s overcome them.
‘She hopes to be able to help others who may be going through similar difficulties. Part self-help, part memoir is the style that Caroline is looking for.’
The Essex native ended his post by insisting his longtime friend will ‘always be with him’ in spirit as she added: ‘I remember messaging you at your toughest time to let you know that I never read or listened to any of the c**p people were saying about you, I was just worried about my friend.
‘I always knew how fragile you were but I never ever thought this would be the last contact we would have. We always said we was friends for life and trust me you will be with me forever.
‘My kids will know you, my grandkids will and then I’ll see you again, give you a huge hug, a huge kiss, get mic’d up and have you by my side again… This will hurt forever, love you cazza, Your Ols.’ [sic]
Caroline killed herself after a worried friend who was staying with her went to the shops, leaving the ex-Love Island presenter alone at her London flat.
Tragic news: The ITV star was found dead just hours after finding out she would face trial over the alleged assault of her boyfriend Lewis Burton (pictured in October 2019)
It came just hours after she was told she would face trial for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend Lewis – a claim she denied.
Her management have slammed the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) for pursuing the ‘show trial’ after former tennis player Lewis, 27, said he did not want to press charges.
The ex-sportsman had said she hit him with a lamp at her former home in Islington in December before asking the CPS not to press charges.
Hitting out: Her management have slammed the Crown Prosecution Service for pursuing the ‘show trial’ after Lewis, 27, said he did not want to press charges (pictured in July)
It was also understood she had been struggling with her mental health and using anti-depressants before her death.
The TV presenter’s death was confirmed by a lawyer for the family. The Flack family said in a statement: ‘We can confirm that our Caroline passed away today on the 15th February. We would ask that the press respect the privacy of the family at this difficult time.’
Love Island – the ITV2 dating series she hosted from its revival in 2015 until late 2019 – also released a statement which said: ‘Everybody at Love Island and ITV is shocked and saddened by this desperately sad news.
‘Caroline was a much loved member of the Love Island team and our sincere thoughts and condolences are with her family and friends.’