Everything from the colour of your walls to the photos you have on display could be impacting your love life, according to a therapist.
Self-described interior therapist Suzanne Roynon, believes an ‘unsupportive’ home impacts on every part of your life, creating tension, stress, poor health, career and relationship challenges.
In her new book, Welcome Home: How Stuff Makes or Breaks Your Relationship, Suzanne explains the practical steps you can take to use interior therapy to move forward into a new chapter in your life.
In an extract shared exclusively with FEMAIL, Suzanne draws on the ancient eastern teachings of feng shui to explain how your home can be subtly changed to make it more ‘inviting’ for romance – if you are single – or more ‘supportive’ of romance if you are in a relationship.
FENG SHUI ENHANCEMENTS FOR LOVE
Twice as nice: Pair energy is important for either inviting or supporting romance, Suzanne explained. Think about including matching lamps or bedside tables in your room. Stock image
Pair energy is important for either inviting or supporting romance. Identify all of the relationship areas in your home, note the main one, and also the individual relationship areas for each room.
With the exception of bathrooms and shower rooms, place something to enhance the love energy in each area.
Make sure it is something which chimes with you. Some people might be happy to fill their homes with statues, rose quartz, twee Dutch kissing couples, bamboo flutes, lucky Chinese cats and goddesses… others most certainly will not!
There is no one way to enhance your love energy – it is as unique as you are. So I’m going to offer some potential ideas, and you can pick and choose as you wish. For more in-depth symbology, check out my website at www.interiorstherapy.com for downloadable PDFs on a range of subjects including love.
INTRODUCE A PERFECT PAIR
Introduce a picture, sculpture or figurine of a couple. Some people prefer to be a little less obvious and might choose a design featuring other kinds of couples, like these cats above
Some of the basics might include:
Add a vase of white flowers for a fresh start
If it’s new love you are interested in, consider putting white flowers and a picture of a couple holding hands and walking towards you into the area dedicated to new beginnings. In Western Feng Shui, white flowers symbolise a fresh start.
White flowers symbolise a fresh start
A picture, sculpture or figurine of a couple. I’d always recommend they are: looking at each other; focused on their partner; happy rather than miserable; the physical combination you desire; facing towards you rather than turned away from you or each other.
The ideal couple imagery is pretty hard to find, but they are out there if you look hard enough.
If you have a romantic partner already, enhance the energy in your bedroom by including a beautiful, happy photo of the two of you together. No children, no parents or friends, just you two.
Some people prefer to be a little less obvious and might choose a design featuring other kinds of couples. I’ve known clients choose cats, penguins, rabbits, swans and ducks, amongst others. I think the strangest was two coiled snakes, but that didn’t end well, so I’d avoid that unless your dream partner has a passion for reptiles.
I’d also steer clear of anything featuring water. Water is known for triggering emotional outbursts, and in the areas dedicated to love, you’ll want to be wary of tears and tantrums. The pictures of couples walking away from you into the sunset might look great initially, but when you experience your relationship going the same way, you might see things differently.
In any relationship area, think about using anything decorative in twos – two candlesticks, vases, crystals, plants, elephants (facing one another obviously). Avoid solitary items and especially photos of you on your own – regardless of how stunning you looked that day.
Main bedroom
Goodbye grey: The saddest rooms tend to be the grey ones, explained Suzanne. Avoid the trend and instead choose pinks, whites, creams, golds and earth colours. Stock image
Personally, I always encourage my clients to boost their bedroom for love, regardless of the area or gua it sits in. You can also boost the official gua energy but prioritise love in a healthy relationship in the room you sleep in!
Pairs of lamps and matching bedside cabinets bring balance into a relationship.
Look closely at your imagery – you know this stuff now, but it’s still easy to trip yourself up.
Allocate one side of the bed to your partner, even if you don’t have one yet. Clear the cabinet on their side, so it’s ready for them to use.
Consciously aim to sleep on ‘your side’ of the bed rather than being a starfish or bed hog. You are making space for your lover energetically, physically and emotionally in your life, so make room for them in your bed too.
Create space: Prepare for your future partner
Allocate one side of the bed to your partner, even if you don’t have one yet. Clear the cabinet on their side, so it’s ready for them to use.
Consciously aim to sleep on ‘your side’ of the bed rather than being a starfish or bed hog. You are making space for your lover energetically, physically and emotionally in your life, so make room for them in your bed too.
While you are making space, be sure there is a drawer and some space in the wardrobe for their clothes. Leave a few empty hangers for them to use when they come into your life.
Leave space in a wardrobe for their clothes
While you are making space, be sure there is a drawer and some space in the wardrobe for their clothes. Leave a few empty hangers for them to use when they come into your life.
Mirrors are great in Feng Shui but have to be carefully positioned. Never have a mirror facing you at the end of a bed; it can cause energetic discomfort and drain you physically and emotionally. If you are stuck with mirrors reflecting you as you sleep (whoever thought mirrored wardrobes were a good idea?), try to cover them at night.
Think about the colours you use. I’m a great believer in keeping the space neutral and bringing in colour with bedlinen, cushions and art.
Traditionally pinks, whites, creams, golds and earth colours are recommended in a relationship area. Reds and deep pinks invoke passion but can interfere with sleep, so use them by all means, but if you find it difficult to rest, think about toning them down. I read long ago that peach and apricot can trigger infidelity, and from experience, I’m inclined to agree.
Strong colours aren’t great for relaxing sleep. Blacks, deep purples, blues, yellows and greens can be an assault on the senses.
The saddest rooms tend to be the grey ones. Yes, I know it’s terribly fashionable to have a house decorated from the front door to the luxury bed linen in fifty shades of grey, but my goodness it’s depressing.
I’m always very blunt with clients in a grey home and ask them if they are feeling flat, listless, bored and de-motivated. So far, I’ve always been right. Interiors magazines and fashion have a lot to answer for.
Finally, if you have an ensuite, always keep the door closed and the lid down on the loo. If you are confident you won’t leave the taps running, then plug the drain after use to stop good energy flowing away.
Routinely keep the bedroom fresh and clean. Make your bed as soon as you get up, so it welcomes you back in the evening.
Use your bedroom only for rest, romance and rejuvenation. No more work, laundry piles, exercise equipment or box-set bingeing. This is your sanctuary, treat it that way.
Points for the rest of the home
Always keep the lid down on any WC and ideally keep the bathroom door closed at all times, explained Suzanne. You don’t want good energy slipping out. Stock image
- Always keep the lid down on any WC and ideally keep the bathroom door closed at all times. The bathroom is a place for waste to be washed away, and you don’t want your good energy to slip out by accident.
- Avoid decorating children’s bedrooms with bright colours. Blues, reds, hot pinks, greens and yellows can be very overstimulating, which is something to bear in mind if your child does not sleep well.
- Avoid placing a mirror opposite a door as you walk into a house or room. This symbolically reflects the good energy straight back out again.
- Mirrors are used in Feng Shui to magnify and reflect, so positioning a pot of money or opulent fruit bowl in front of a mirror will increase your feeling of abundance. By placing a mirror behind a stove, you symbolically increase your abundance. This is also a good way of seeing who is coming up behind you as you cook!
Extract from Welcome Home: How Stuff Makes or Breaks Your Relationship by Interiors Therapist Suzanne Roynon
There are helpful ideas and enhancements you can use in other areas of the home, and it’s important that you maintain balance throughout the space, so do think about those areas too.
That being said, the practice of Feng Shui is extremely complex, and a specialist in the subject will have trained for many years under a Feng Shui Master.
I always emphasise Interiors Therapy uses Feng Shui at a basic level to boost the energy within the bagua and help the home tune into your own beliefs and intentions as part of the bigger process.
Extract from Welcome Home: How Stuff Makes or Breaks Your Relationship by Interiors Therapist Suzanne Roynon. Published by Panoma Press, priced £14.99, available online at Amazon and from all good bookstores. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Welcome-Home-stuff-breaks-relationship/dp/1784529125/