Vinnie Jones has revealed he believes a white light he saw on the night his wife Tanya died may have been a message from her.
The actor, 55, has been open about his grief after his wife passed away aged 53 at their home in California in July last year following a six-year battle with cancer.
In his book, Lost Without You: Loving And Losing Tanya, Vinnie recalled how he witnessed a strange light hovering above his home and said he still struggles to explain it.
Message: Vinnie Jones has revealed he believes a white light he saw on the night his wife Tanya died may have been a message from her (pictured in November 2019)
He said: ‘The night Tans died we were all sitting outside in the back garden… it was around midnight, a still, overcast night, no moonlight.
‘One by one, people were heading inside to bed, and I told them I’d be in in a little while. I wanted to smoke and watch the darkness and be alone.
‘As I sat there, I noticed above me a white light. I knew it couldn’t be a star because of the cloud cover, but there it was – a simple white light above me.’
Vinnie knew that when people lose someone they love they can start to look for signs of them and insisted he ‘never believed in any of that stuff’.
Passing: The actor has been open about his grief after his wife passed away aged 53 at their home in California last year following a six-year battle with cancer (pictured in 2010)
However, he was sure the white light was real and also knew that it was not a star or a helicopter as it was too low.
He said: ‘I don’t know why, but in my grief and desperation I said to the light, “Is that you, babe?”
‘The light shone above me; it didn’t waver, or change. Was it Tans? There was only one way to find out. I thought about all the times she’d say, “Where’s my kiss?” and I’d throw her one to catch.
‘So that’s what I did, right there in that dark garden – I threw one last kiss up to the white light above me.
Light: The ex footballer recalled how he witnessed a strange light hovering above his home and said he still struggles to explain it (pictured in 2007)
‘Suddenly, the light swerved, and dipped, and hovered, and then it flew – zoom! – it flew and swerved and then it disappeared away from me in that garden, and left me, once again alone.’
Vinnie added that he has checked and re-checked the weather forecast for that night since and it was overcast in Los Angeles, with the sun not appearing until midday the following day.
Vinnie and Tanya met in childhood and tied the knot in 1994, with the actor recently admitting on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories that he will never remarry.
When asked whether he could ever face marrying again, Vinnie admitted: ‘I think that’s a impossible question to answer but if you asked me if I would get married again that would be an impossibility, she wouldn’t want that.
‘There won’t be another marriage Piers I can tell you that. It was the perfect one and done for me.’
He said: ‘I don’t know why, but in my grief and desperation I said to the light, ‘Is that you, babe?’ (pictured in 2013)
During his interview with Piers, Vinnie recalled the heartbreaking moment his wife passed away, telling him: ‘They said to us maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe months.
‘I was on my knees howling, you find yourself going to Forest Lawn cemetery to make arrangements before she passed. You think you’re in a horror dream, that is the only way to describe it.
‘I knew the pain was horrific, I knew it was time to stop and I begged the nurse to stop it.
‘All of a sudden she took her last breath and I felt all these butterflies leave her. You’re just not in real time… I felt all these butterflies, Tinkerbell, and she was free. Painless.’
Vinnie discusses his grief in his new book Lost Without You: Loving And Losing Tanya which he hopes will ‘inspire others to find the help they need also’.
If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.
Honest: Vinnie and Tanya met in childhood and tied the knot in 1994, with the actor recently admitting on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories that he will never remarry (pictured in 2019)