With scenes now limited to fewer characters, safely socially distanced kitchens have replaced pubs as the heart of activity.
When EastEnders’ Chantelle met her end on a few dishwasher spikes, I queried why the appliance had never been used for its intended purpose, as Chantelle was always at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes.
The week before last, Linda was doing the same, helping Gray out, despite the machine-come-murder weapon still being visible.
In Corrie last week, David decided he was going to make dinner. Quite what he was going to do with two cans is anybody’s guess, but the Platt household will always have that giant box of corn flakes on standby, forever lurking (does anyone ever eat them? I swear they’re a decade old).
Nick and Leanne conducted yet another of their arguments in a kitchen that now resembles a wine cellar; there were even two bottles of Champagne on the unit.
Remember that 1980s song You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties? These days, in soapland, you don’t even need the lure of a party to get anyone there.
CORONATION STREET: ALL GUNS BLAZING
Scott, plotting to fleeced Ray’s investors, holds a gun up police officer Craig (pictured) as he attempts to dash out the door with the cash
Another week, another gun. No sooner was Mick’s weapon returned to the props cupboard, than out comes another (probably the same one), this time brandished by Scott, who has been plotting to fleece Ray’s investors (even though he couldn’t fleece them of a fleece, to be honest).
The gathering is the old chestnut of a poker game (have the storyliners of EastEnders and Corrie been hanging out?).
But can Craig, the ubiquitous copper of the North, rescue Faye when she’s threatened by a masked Scott? Scott’s view was that even if there was no cash around, there may be a few Rolexes.
Will Johnny be the getaway driver? I doubt it. The only thing he ever seems capable of is getting away from his nagging wife.
It’s all a wake-up call for him though, and he decides to track down the man he left for dead during the robbery he did with Scott years ago.
Will he come clean to Jenny? Let’s just say the situation gives rise to yet another gun-wielding scene. So boring. Everyone should take a leaf out of Yasmeen’s book: a broken wine bottle is far more effective.
EMMERDALE: SO LONG, FAREWELL?
Charity (pictured right) confides in Tracy (pictured left) about partner Vanessa being aloof and questions whether she is having an affair
Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. If we thought EastEnders led the way in Bad Hair Days, think again: Tracy looks as if she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards, over it, under it, and ridden over it on a runaway horse. Twice.
Nevertheless, Charity confides in her, desperate to know why Vanessa is being so aloof and convinced Vanessa is having an affair.
Could a chance accident with a motorist change things? Just a warning: she hears a noise from the boot. Really? Again? Seriously, villagers: a car boot is for storing your picnic hamper or golf clubs; it’s not a makeshift coffin.
EASTENDERS: GOING FOR BROKE
Kush’s (pictured) gambling addiction has got out of control as he begins stealing from various places, including the till at Ruby’s
How does everyone keep getting into such a financial mess? Maybe it’s because there isn’t a bank within a 30-mile radius; seeing a manager about a loan takes as much effort and preparation as a six-week safari.
Billy has never had money, Denise was reduced to taking sandwiches out of bins, Linda is in a mess, and now Kush has resorted to drastic measures to fuel his gambling habit. Er, where did that come from?
He’s always seemed like the kind who would lose 10p on a slot machine and have to go into therapy for a year.
This week, he sells Lily’s tablet (not the aspirin sort), steals from the till at Ruby’s, and takes part in a poker game. Dating Kat can do that to a guy.
Sonia is smiling when an ex-patient gives her a car (be grateful it’s not a musical instrument – too many have been inflicted on us by that family).
Shirley offers her £3,000 for it, but it’s worth more. Blimey. What did Sonia do for the patient? Fly them to Dignitas first class?
Callum is in major worrying mode again, when DI Thompson comes up with another plan to gain Phil’s trust (tell me it’s not a toupée).
For a newcomer to the force, Callum hasn’t half got himself in deep water very quickly. Couldn’t they have put him on parking tickets for a while and built him up slowly?