Expert dad-of-six stuns parents with advice to STOP ‘lying’ to their children about Santa because it is ‘manipulative’ and ‘harmful’
- Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson says parents shouldn’t lie to kids about Santa
- He said parents should respect their children and to tell them the truth if asked
- He claims the concept of Santa perpetrates the idea of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ children
- ‘I think we can make Christmas magic and be honest about Santa,’ he said
Australian parenting expert and father of six Dr Justin Coulson shared his take on why parents should tell the truth about Santa
A parenting expert and father-of-six has shared his ‘unpopular opinion’ on why parents should stop lying to their children about Santa Claus when asked.
Dr Justin Coulson, a parenting expert from Channel Nine’s reality TV series Parental Guidance, said parents should respect their children and to tell them the truth if they to ask if Santa is real.
He added how parents don’t accept dishonesty from children and claims there shouldn’t be a ‘double-standard’.
The concept of Santa also perpetrates the idea of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ children and can be used as a manipulation strategy.
‘Santa has become an integral part of our Christmas tradition, but what would it look like if we chose to be honest about Santa’s (non) existence? Is it possible to have fun at Christmastime without perpetuating the Santa myth?’ Dr Coulson questioned.
‘I think we can make Christmas magic and be honest about Santa (when our children are old enough to ask).’
Dr Justin Coulson said parents should respect their children and to tell them the truth if they happen to ask if Santa is real (stock image)
‘When we lie to our kids about Santa, we are automatically assuming that our children don’t deserve the same level of trust or respect as any other adult. We’re actually speaking down to them – it’s patronising,’ he said.
In the same way, lying to children undermines their trust and may lead them the wonder what else their parents have been lying to them about.
For his fourth point of reason, Dr Coulson said the concept of Santa implies there are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ children.
‘Our children make mistakes because that’s how learning happens, but this doesn’t make our children ‘bad’ or any less worthy of joy at Christmas – it just makes them kids,’ he said.
Dr Coulson added how both magic and the truth can co-exist during the festive season – just as you can enjoy a movie or read a fictional book knowing it’s not true.
‘Kids role play, enjoy make-believe games and have imaginary friends and this enhances their wellbeing and their lives,’ he said.
The sixth and final reason why parents shouldn’t lie to their kids about Santa is the fact that it’s a form of manipulation.
‘Using coercive strategies to manipulate the way our children behave is ineffective and potentially harmful, morally and scientifically,’ he said.
Channel Nine’s reality television show Parental Guidance sees Allison Langdon (right) and Dr Justin Coulson (left) moderate as parents confront each other over their different styles
The response from other parents online varied, with some completely agreeing with Dr Coulson and some wanting to encourage kids to be imaginative.
‘My daughter started asking if Santa was real last year (age nine), instead of lying to her I told her it’s the magic that we believe it and that once there was a Saint Nicholas,’ one mum wrote.
‘I disagree, making space for imagination is important for children. I think we all look back on these childhood memories with fondness and appreciate it for what it was,’ another wrote.