A therapist has shared 15 ‘small but very significant things’ that every person should know about their romantic partner by the time they’ve been dating for six months.
Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor from Portland, Oregon, shares relationship wisdom on his popular TikTok page.
One recent video has particularly struck a chord with viewers, earning four million views since it was posted on April 17.
In the 45-second clip, Guenther rattles off a list of important questions that coupled-up people should be able to answer fairly early on in their relationships, from how much alone time their partner needs to how they can best be supported when they’re upset.
A therapist has shared 15 ‘small but very significant things’ that every person should know about their romantic partner by the time they’ve been dating for six months (stock image)
Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor from Portland, Oregon, regularly shares relationship wisdom on his popular TikTok page
Guenther, who has a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the University of Southern California, shared the tips without much further explanation.
He said that six months into a relationship, a person should know how their significant other likes to celebrate his or her birthday, how much alone time they need, and their favorite food, TV show, movie, and band.
They should know what gets their partner in the mood, how long it takes them to get ready to go somewhere, and what their most controversial take is.
It’s also good to know which family member ‘triggers’ them the most, so they can be prepared for interactions that create negative emotions.
‘No matter how stable and “together” we think we are, our families can instantly cause us to emotionally fall apart or regress into teenage angst,’ Guenther wrote for The Knot in March.
‘Small but significant things’ to know about a romantic partner
- How do they want to celebrate their birthday?
- How much alone time, if any, do they need?
- What’s their favorite food?
- What turns them on and gets them in the mood?
- How long do they need to get ready and head out the door?
- What’s their favorite TV show, movie, and band?
- What’s their most controversial take?
- Who is their best friend, and why?
- What family member triggers them the most?
- What will instantly make them laugh?
- What’s their biggest insecurity?
- What’s the best way to support them when they’re stressed or upset?
- What do they ultimately want from this relationship?
- What do they allow themselves to financially splurge on?
- What’s their biggest guilty pleasure?
‘If you know how your partner reacts to their family, you won’t be thrown off when they’re upset by their parents or siblings. Instead, you’ll know how to support them through a tough time.
‘And more importantly, if you do something to remind them of their family dynamic that causes them to emotionally spiral, you’ll be able to take a step back and do your best to not take it personally. Our old family patterns inevitably resurface in our romantic relationships. It’s smart to be prepared to handle it,’ he said.
Guenther also recommends knowing who a partner’s best friend is — and why — as well as what will make a partner laugh, what a partner’s biggest insecurity and biggest guilty pleasures are, and what they like to splurge money on.
It’s also important, he says, to know the best way to support a partner when they’re stressed or upset.
‘Your partner is going to feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed every now and then,’ he wrote for The Knot.
He said that six months into a relationship, a person should know how their significant other likes to celebrate his or her birthday, how much alone time they need, and their favorite food, TV show, movie, and band
‘Providing the support your partner needs, whether it’s holding emotional space, problem-solving together, or distracting them with a refreshing activity, allows you to connect in a vulnerable way.
‘This, in turn, will strengthen the relationship and create the safety and security it needs to last a long time.’
Finally, it’s good to know what a romantic partner wants from the relationship, says Guenther.
Guenther’s list has been well-received by viewers, some of whom have added their own suggestions.
A few listed big-picture things, like how a partner processes anger, what their attachment style is, and whether they snore.
Others offered up smaller preferences, like which way a person hangs their toilet paper, what temperature they like to set the thermostat at, and whether they fart frequently.