Woman who came across her friend’s husband on dating app Bumble is blasted after saying she might NOT share the discovery because it’s ‘not her business to tell’
- Mother asked if she should tell her friend that husband was on dating app
- On UK-based forum Mumsnet she said she was not sure if it was her business
- Large majority of responses told her to inform friend of husband’s deceit
A woman has provoked a debate after spotting her ‘smug’ friend’s husband on a dating app.
Writing on the British parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman explained that she had seen the man on Bumble, four years after attending the couple’s wedding.
She said that the woman had seemed ‘smug’ with how well their relationship had gone, meeting him one week after she left a six-year relationship and marrying him after one year.
The poster went on to ask if she should tell her friend about what she had seen or not.
Stuck in the middle: A British Mumsnet user admitted to being torn over what to do when she spotted her friend’s husband on a dating app
She wrote: ‘I seen my friend’s husband on Bumble on Friday night. I made video screen shot of entire profile- verified and fully filled out.
‘I was at their wedding four years ago, she was fairly smug with how well their relatiosnhip had gone. Engaged after a short period of time, and married after 1 year. They met the week after she had a 6 year relationship ending and they did seem literally perfect for each other.
‘I tend to stay away from gossip but neither she or anyone else have intimated their relationship has broken down. I have told no one I know about the dating profile.
‘AIBU [Am I being unreasonable] to leave it and feel its none of my business?’
The woman explained she had seen her friend’s husband on Bumble and was no wondering if it was ‘any of her business’ to take action
Her post divided Mumsnet users, with some saying she should tell the husband about her discovery, including one person who wrote: ‘Tell him you’ve seen it.’
But another disagreed, writing: ‘I wouldn’t tell him! You’ll give him time to come up with an excuse. Your loyalty is to her not him.!
And a separate person wrote: ‘Don’t tell him- he’ll delete it and then you’ll only have to tell her anyway or she won’t know she’s with a lying sh*tbag. Send it to her anonymously if you can’t face telling her, but definitely tell her. At least give her the option of divorcing him. Hopefully they don’t have kids yet.’
Mumsnet users were divided over whether her husband should be the first person told about the dating app discovery
The overwhelming majority of posters told the woman to tell her friend instead of her husband.
One mother wrote: ‘Please tell her otherwise she’s being betrayed twice.’
Meanwhile, another person pleaded: ‘Tell her. I was told and in some ways it was a relief, though terrible.’
A separate person explained another situation where she told a friend about their husband being on a dating app and was thanked, even though she chose to stay with him.
The majority of people urged the woman to tell her friend, saying she deserved to know the truth about her husband’s antics
Different mothers on the website then shared their own experiences of finding out about men’s deceit online.
Someone wrote: ‘I’ve had the reverse of this where a guy that I met online and I have been messaging for nearly 2 years met up with on several occasions turns out he’s got nine-month-old twins came across her profile on TikTok and I did get in touch with her she’s never replied but that’s her prerogative isn’t it.’
And a second person said: ‘I have had two experiences of this. One where I actually told my friend and the other where a friend told her friend her husband had made a pass at her. Both times the women chose to stay with the man. I have just thought of another one.
‘My relative was engaged to someone she met through a dating agency. He didnt cancel his membership…. she only found out after they broke up about something else. They were living together and when they split she transferred her post to her new address and in error they sent his post to her!’
A final person said: ‘One of my friends had an approach from a bloke on Facebook Dating. She quite liked the look of him and they lived fairly close. When she looked at his FB profile she noticed I was a mutual friend so she emailed to say ‘Just wondered how you knew this guy and whether you would recommend that I respond to him? I had to explain that I knew him through another friend… to whom he was married.’
Others shared stories of similar experiences they have had, including one who suggested sharing the information anonymously