Mum pulled toddler out of daycare over ‘no touching’ rule

A furious mother has revealed she pulled her three-year-old daughter out of pre-school because staff continued to break her ‘no touching’ rule.

The mum explained her daughter isn’t ‘a snuggler’ and will only happily hug her mother, father and grandmother.

She despises being cuddled or touched by other people, and always has, the mother explained in a post on Kidspot.

So when the family enrolled in the kindergarten the mother explained the little girl’s aversion to physical contact and said she likes to be calmed down with her favourite toy or quiet time away from the other children.

But to her disgust the teachers didn’t listen.

‘I’ll never forget looking through the window out to the outside area where all the kids play, and seeing the teacher picking my daughter up and trying to hug her. My daughter was absolutely beside herself,’ she said.

A mum says she pulled her three-year-old daughter out of school because teachers kept trying to hug her – despite being told not to because the youngster didn’t like it 

She said she tried to move on from the blatant disrespect of her rules and her daughter’s boundaries, and simply reminded the daycare manager that there were to be no cuddles.

But every day she went into the school the staff would offer the toddler a cuddle, making her cry and her mum feel uncomfortable.

‘I felt like I was constantly repeating myself and fighting so hard just to help my daughter feel safe at childcare. It shouldn’t be this hard to help each child feel safe? It didn’t feel right to me,’ she said.


Who was in the wrong?

  • The mother, let the teachers do their thing! 11 votes
  • The teachers, they need to respect boundaries! 9 votes

After a month of heading to the school the toddler told her mum she didn’t like her teachers or when they tried to cuddle her.

So she took her out of the school for good and regrets not doing it sooner.  

The mum said it wasn’t an easy decision to take her daughter out of school – especially because everyone in her support network told her drop offs would get easier.

A few months later she took her daughter to a new school and said they were incredible –  and even set her up her own ‘quiet space’ for when she felt overwhelmed.

The change in tact meant the three-year-old was excited to go to school and made her mum feel like she had done the right thing ditching the first one.  

The mum added she has a son who is a snuggler and has no problem with him getting cuddles at school, if he wants them. 

The mum’s rant divided opinion – with some laughing at her for expecting the school to listen to her rules and others defending her. 

 ‘I can’t understand all the people that laughed at this,’ one woman said,

The mum said she understands some children love cuddles, her son does, but her daughter hates them

The mum said she understands some children love cuddles, her son does, but her daughter hates them 

‘This child clearly has sensory needs that were completely ignored in her first childcare centre. It’s not difficult as an educator to remember and implement boundaries set by a parent or a child,’ she continued.

‘Meeting the parents wishes and protecting the child is their job.

‘Good on this mother for removing her from the centre and finding a more accommodating one.’

‘As an adult, I’m allowed to say yes or no to hugs and kisses. As an adult, I’m allowed to enforce my own bodily boundaries. As an adult, I’m given the respect to do this. Why should it be any different to children?’ one woman said. 

‘There really is no excuse for the carers not to know that she doesn’t like cuddles. Once they are told the once they should all know. Any worker that joins after that discussion should be doing their homework on the children and should see straight away on the child’s file is there is an issue with cuddling and not to do it,’ one dad said. 

But others sided with the first day care.

‘You know the daycare doesn’t care that took your child out. They already had a child to replace them. You should gotten a nanny and a camera and watch med them interact as you probably would sit and watch the nanny while your at work. Some parents I tell you,’ one woman said. 

Some said the mother’s rule will make it harder for the children in ‘the real world’.

‘The trick wasn’t coddling and trying to make the environment mould around the kids but rather teach the kids how to cope and deal with what is going to happen in the real world. Once your child is on their own in situations, the world won’t bend to them,’ one mum said, explaining she has two kids with sensory issues.