I was sitting at a table close to Boris Johnson at last week’s Conservative Winter Ball and it was impossible not to notice the Prime Minister’s good spirits, which were cheery even by his own ebullient standards. And now we know the reason.
In announcing his engagement to Carrie Symonds, he is joining the rarified Third Wives Club, like me. And then there’s his impending membership of the Old Dads Club. I can tell him all about that, too.
It is a cliché, of course, to talk about how being a father ‘changes everything’, but it certainly did in my case.
I first held my daughter Cosima in a bundle in Bridgnorth Hospital, our local maternity unit, just two months before I turned 49. To become a father at such an age felt like a miraculous gift – one that made me more determined than ever to be a good father and husband.
In announcing his engagement to Carrie Symonds, Boris Johnson is joining the rarified Third Wives Club, like me, writes William Cash (above, with Cosima and Rex). And then there’s his impending membership of the Old Dads Club. I can tell him all about that, too
I have a sense Boris will enjoy his new life, both as an older dad and the husband of a much younger wife. There will be comedy for sure. I remember when I first went skiing with Laura and was astonished to see that she had been given a child’s ski pass when we got in the gondola, says Mr Cash. (Pictured, Boris with Carrie last October)
I will never forget driving – unusually slowly – from the hospital back home to our Shropshire home, Upton Cressett, for the first time with our newborn baby in the car seat. It was a beautiful June day, the cow parsley and other wild flowers were out along the hedgerows and Elgar had been playing on the car radio.
As we drove up Meadowley Bank, the steep hill that winds its way up towards our house, I remember thinking that an entirely new life was just starting.
But the only thing in my mind when we finally got upstairs to our daughter’s new bedroom was: ‘What on earth do we do now?’
It was a great deal of hard work, to be sure – much more than I had bargained for. Hauling chubby little Cosima up the stairs to change her nappy was no joke.
But then Downing Street has seen plenty of nappies in the past and so has Boris, so I am sure he’ll cope. In fact, there are some advantages to being an older father.
Because I am now settled in my professional life as an author and publisher, I get to spend much more time with my wife and family (although I appreciate this doesn’t apply to Boris in his current job).
I’m not getting home late from work and can read bedtime stories to Cosima, now four and a half, and her brother Rex, three, most days.
And after years of hard work, we finally have the sort of space I could only dream of as a young man. We live in a restored country house, which means the children can play outside with freedom and look after their rabbits, a white peacock called York and numerous rare-breed chickens. There are downsides, of course.
It is natural that I sometimes worry about not being around to bring up my children. If I allow myself to dwell on the thought, it is truly frightening.
Mr Cash: ‘After the emotional carnage that Boris has subjected himself and others to, I sincerely hope that being married to the delightful Carrie will be some form of salvation’
Similarly, my wife, Laura, is concerned that she will be left a widow – another upsetting prospect.
This is one reason I have overhauled my way of life, cutting down on things such as coffee and, in particular, alcohol. My grandfather was killed in the Normandy landings and I know how much his absence affected my father, the Brexiteer politician Bill Cash. He was only four and I know the wound ran deep.
One of the most curious things about becoming part of the Old Dads Club is the rapidly growing membership. All three of my best men had their first child after turning 50. Does it say something about a generation for whom having children in their 50s has become increasingly common? If so, what?
I have a sense Boris will enjoy his new life, both as an older dad and the husband of a much younger wife. There will be comedy for sure. I remember when I first went skiing with Laura and was astonished to see that she had been given a child’s ski pass when we got in the gondola.
She was wearing a hat with rabbit’s ears and the clerk obviously thought she was my daughter. In the week of my 50th birthday, I remember the new gardener looking shocked when I kissed Laura in front of him.
Coming late to parenthood hasn’t just been about learning life lessons. It became a much more radical experience. Yes, people get divorced and have ‘second’ and even ‘third’ families.
But the experience of becoming a father and member of Third Wives Club was to become something I never expected: it was what rescued me after years of chaos and it gave me an anchor to my life.
After the emotional carnage that Boris has subjected himself and others to, I sincerely hope that being married to the delightful Carrie will be some form of salvation.
As a member of the Old Dads Club, I felt a new sense of responsibility that partly helped save my life (or so it has sometimes felt).
I wish Boris and Carrie the very best. After all, third time around really is the best.