This is the week that people attempt to stick to the resolutions they’ve made. If there’s one change I’d advise all the residents of soapland to make, it would be to adopt a better work ethic.
In today’s climate these people are lucky to even have jobs, but they spend most of their time slacking off!
Coronation Street’s factory and Bistro are a free-for-all, with workers coming and going as they please, and spending more time having tea and cake breaks than they do actually working. The management at both places turn a blind eye to their mates forever popping in for a chat (or a fight).
If Emmerdale’s Al spent half as much time in the office as he did having liaisons in hotel rooms then the Hop might have a few more customers on its books.
Police forces all over the country are overstretched, but you’d never know it from the way EastEnders coppers Jack and Callum have carried on. Their bosses are lucky if they pop into the station once a week in between boozing at the pub and dealing with their tangled love and family lives.
Jaci Stephen is away
CORONATION STREET
LEANNE POPS TOO MANY PILLS
Simon discovers his mother Leanne passed out on the sofa (pictured) next to a bottle of pills and assumes the worst
The episode is enough to make Simon realise he must move in and look after her – a decision that’s, presumably, meant to be comforting
When Dr Gaddas calls at the flat to visit Leanne, she is alarmed at the state of the place and patient. Leanne admits that she lied to people about being in France and desperately needs some sleeping tablets.
When Simon discovers his mother passed out on the sofa next to a bottle of pills, he assumes the worst. But Leanne assures Simon that she accidentally took too many. It’s enough to make Simon realise he must move in and look after her – a decision that’s, presumably, meant to be comforting.
Released from prison, Grace returns to Weatherfield and a paternity test proves that the baby she is carrying is Michael’s. Following Grace’s 20-week scan, the two decide to give their relationship another go for the sake of the baby. The only thing standing in their way is Aggie, who is appalled at the idea of her son and Grace playing happy families together.
Elsewhere, Evelyn gets the offer of a lifetime when Arthur, recently widowed, invites her to move to Canada with him. A new start overseas or stay living with Tyrone, Fiz and their horrible children at their dingy house? It’s a toughie.
EASTENDERS
MELTDOWN FOR MARTIN
Martin is tormented after Kush disappears with Arthur as Stacey correctly guesses that Ruby is responsible
Martin is tormented after Kush disappears with Arthur. Stacey correctly guesses that Ruby is responsible, but Ruby denies all knowledge. Martin sticks up for his wife who, in turn, feels guilty about the anguish she’s putting her husband through.
Seeing that Stacey and Martin are growing closer, Ruby turns to desperate measures to cling to her troubled husband. Poor old Martin, life with moaning Sonia and miserable Bex must seem idyllic compared to this.
Sonia is also fighting demons. Buckling under the pressure of her workload at the hospital, she realises she needs a break. Well, working across every department at Walford General must be exhausting. Luckily, junior doctor Ash, who like Sonia seems to cover all wards, is on hand with advice.
Suspended from duty, it looks like the game could be up for Callum – the world’s worst cop – when DI Thompson (the world’s second worst cop) tells him that he’s had more than enough time to gather evidence against the Mitchells.
An angry Thompson informs Callum he doesn’t need him any more, and not only will he nail Phil and Ben – he’ll also reveal the truth about him being an informant. Considering Phil and Ben are meant to be criminal masterminds, they’ve been pretty dim to not realise that a grass lives under their roof. What will become of Callum? Will Jack (the world’s third worst cop) come to his aid?
EMMERDALE
AN OLD FLAME FLICKERS
Marlon may have a son with Rhona but she’s one of the few women in Emmerdale he didn’t marry. That could change though as they confide their true feelings to mutual friend Paddy
Marlon may have a son with Rhona but she’s one of the few women in Emmerdale he didn’t marry. That could change though as they confide their true feelings to mutual friend Paddy. They have seven marriages between them, so if they end up tying the knot, it doesn’t exactly scream ‘silver wedding anniversary’.
Liv is diagnosed with epilepsy and has a seizure with Vinny, who calls his waste of space dad Paul instead of an ambulance.
No wonder Aaron angrily tells him to move out. Liv and Vinny’s split is such a dead cert, I’m surprised Paul hasn’t placed a bet on it.