Tough love rules for midlife dressing – by the A-list style guru trusted by Olivia Colman

For a fashion industry veteran, Mary Fellowes has some rather surprising views. ‘Forget trends!’ she exclaims. ‘Forget “I must have this brand or this style because everybody else is wearing it.” That’s all rubbish! I can’t bear it.’

Mary, who’s in her 40s, is the woman that actresses such as Olivia Colman and Scarlett Johansson turn to when they want to dazzle on the red carpet.

She’s on a mission to make such actresses, who don’t conform to the ‘stick-insect’ film-star stereotype, look glamorous, while being comfortable. She’s also determined to make her industry finally recognise the needs of real women with jobs, families and bodies of every shape and size. ‘Fashion should enhance and empower these amazing women. It shouldn’t shrink them,’ she says.

Sitting in her agency’s office in Central London, Mary burns with fury at how — in general — the fashion industry ignores middle-aged women. ‘They are its biggest users, women with something to say for themselves, with money to spend,’ she cries. ‘But so much of the industry still seems to be designed for tall, thin young women.

‘Grown-up women aren’t interested in logos and street sportswear, but the big luxury brands are putting all that out there, for the likes of the Kardashians and the Hadids, who don’t represent their customers at all. I find it so frustrating, it’s like they’re a bank that won’t allow customers to withdraw money or an insurance company that never pays out.’

When it came to finding last year’s Bafta and Oscar outfits for Colman, 46, who’d been nominated for her role as Queen Anne in The Favourite (she won both), Mary was outraged by what was offered to her by many fashion houses.

‘Olivia’s an extremely intelligent and profound person, painfully funny, a working mum, very strong, a national treasure. But then you start asking round “What have you got in her size” and just because somebody has a real body and is not a size zero, I’d be sent something a secretary would wear.’

She had similar problems when Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie turned to her for styling tips after being pilloried for their outfits at the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

‘They always had to keep their arms covered in the presence of the Queen, but I just couldn’t find modern, fashionable, interesting clothes that had sleeves, which is what most women want. The stuff I’d be sent was all more suited to a politician’s wife.’

In the end, Mary had to have virtually every outfit for the princesses custom-made. With Colman, she plumped for a bespoke ivory and black Emilia Wickstead gown for the Baftas and an emerald-green turtle-neck Prada dress with a grey cape for the Oscars.

Key to these looks was feeling relaxed. ‘I’ve stood on the red carpet and it’s an absolutely petrifying experience, with thousands of flashbulbs and people shouting your name. You’re freezing and wearing shoes you’re not used to walking in and clothes that probably constrict you, which is horrible. It’s all very well to wear clothes that look good on you, but if you’re aware of them and can’t move freely, you’re going to feel very self-conscious and not have a nice day.’

She was introduced to Olivia by mutual friend Fleabag actress and creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge, 34. ‘Phoebe said, “I want you to meet the lady who plays my wicked stepmother [in Fleabag].”’

Mary had styled Phoebe for various events, most notably dressing her in a black Roland Mouret trouser suit for last year’s Golden Globes, when actresses wore black on the red carpet as a gesture of support to the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns. ‘I’m very proud of that. It sent such a powerful message to see all those big names wearing black,’ she says. ‘Fashion should be doing its bit for causes.’

Like many women, Phoebe and Olivia aren’t keen on stilettoes. ‘The maximum heel height both will go is 80mm. They won’t go to 100mm, that’s too much,’ she says. ‘I’d never encourage them to go higher — if a woman’s teetering and uncomfortable she can’t relax. Most women don’t want heels — that’s certainly the reality of my life. I don’t go everywhere in taxis — I drive a Piaggio moped.’

I’m astonished to learn from Mary how rigid Hollywood’s style parameters are, with even actresses as gorgeous as Scarlett Johansson being considered the ‘wrong’ shape for designer clothes. (Other clients have included Julianne Moore, Suranne Jones and Elizabeth McGovern, as well as Lashana Lynch, the British star of the upcoming James-Bond film No Time To Die.)

‘Scarlett’s tiny, really petite, but also curvaceous and it’s hard to find designer clothes made for that kind of shape,’ she says.

Her outspoken, feminist approach to life extends to any questions about her personal life. She won’t reveal whether she’s married or has children or her precise age — all questions she deems irrelevant. ‘Why can’t women be judged on achievements and the scores of other things that make us who we are ?’ she asks.

Something else she hates to talk about is her extremely pukka background: her uncle is the Queen’s former private secretary Sir Robert Fellowes, the brother-in-law of Princess Diana and she’s distantly related to Downton-Abbey creator Lord Fellowes. Another uncle was the Prince of Wales’s closest confidant the late Hugh Van Cutsem, and her grandmother inherited one of Britain’s largest landholdings.

But Mary, who started making her own clothes at the age of five, was always something of a rebel, going through a Goth and punk stage at school — ‘though other days I’d dress like a preppy, just because I felt like it. I’ve never understood the herd mentality, who says that being on trend makes you more valid? It’s so silly! You have to be yourself.’

After attending Central St Martin’s College of Arts, Mary, who’s based in London, but travels constantly for her job, assisted legendary stylist Isabella Blow at British Vogue, before working for 11 different international editions of the magazine, including U.S. Vogue under its legendary editor Anna Wintour (‘one of the most driven women I’ve ever met’).

A practising Buddhist who believes in the importance of not becoming too attached to possessions, Mary hates throwaway fast fashion, encouraging her clients to buy fewer, better-quality pieces, ideally second hand. Today she’s wearing black vintage trousers with a red vintage Givenchy jacket.

‘I know charity shops can be a bit dusty and the goods aren’t merchandised well, but you’re bound to find better quality there,’ she says. ‘I buy things from eBay all the time.’

According to Mary, all women look best if they stick to classic, loose tailored clothes. ‘The tailoring is like architecture, it holds your body and creates a nice silhouette and a frame.’

A case in point is the Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle, whom she styled for a magazine shoot when she was still acting in the TV drama Suits, a year before she met Prince Harry. ‘I put her in tailoring by a designer called Charles Harbison and she looked really good in it.’

Brands she recommends are —for those with cash to splash — Roland Mouret, while in the mid-market, she likes Me & Em. Though she’s no fan of disposable High-Street fashion she admits you can occasionally find good tailoring in Reiss and Zara.

She adds that many of our best-known actresses are often the ones least interested in fashion. ‘Generally, the bigger the actress is, the less she’ll care. She’ll just be really into her craft and style is secondary and superfluous, something they have to engage with only when they’re promoting a film,’ she says.

But Mary isn’t saying it’s frivolous to want to look good. ‘I say to all my actresses: “You don’t have to have great style or wear trendy brands, but you do need to put your best foot forward because when you’re well presented, people respond to you differently.”’

So grateful are these actresses for Mary’s services that one, whom she refuses to name, burst into tears before stepping on the red carpet. ‘I was horrified, I thought I’d done something wrong. I put my arm around her and said “Are you all right? Have I done something wrong?” She said, “I didn’t know I could look this good in clothes, I thought my body shape made it impossible.”

‘I see it all the time with women who don’t quite fit into that fashion mould. They’ve felt disenfranchised and alienated, they don’t think they can ever be fashionable and that they’ll always just be given second-best. They get really emotional when they realise this doesn’t have to be the case.’