Traditional mealtime ‘rules’ parents should ditch, according to a nutritionist

Mealtimes can be challenging at the best of times, especially if your child is prone to being a bit fussy about what’s on their plate. 

While we all want our children to grow up as healthy eaters, sticking to rigid rules like forcing them to finish their vegetables isn’t the most effective way to ensure that, according to one expert.

Charlotte Stirling-Reed, an infant and toddler nutritionist, says imposing strict table etiquette on little ones often does little to aid their development.

She believes mealtimes should be seen by parents as an opportunity to spend quality time with their children – something 86 per cent of mums and dads wish they could have more of, according to a survey by Scandinavian parenting brand Stokke.

Here Charlotte shares with FEMAIL the traditional dinner table rules she’d rather were confined to the history books.  

‘Don’t play with your food’

The reason I’m not such a fan of this mealtime rule is simply because we know from research that familiarisation with food is one of the things that helps children to start to accept it. 

Playing with food – even without actually eating it – is all part of that learning process.

It helps babies to explore the look and feel of foods which, in turn, boosts their knowledge and acceptance of it. 

So let them play – and try not to worry about the mess as much as you can! 

‘Finish your plate’

Babies are actually pretty good at regulating their own appetite and knowing when they are hungry and full. 

If we as parents can set a nice structure up for them during the day, which includes milk, solids and naps, then babies are pretty good at learning their own cues around feeding time. 

Sometimes it takes a while, but it’s all too easy to override their own innate signals and encourage them to eat more than they need. 

Try to practice feeding your baby ‘responsively’, which essentially means looking out for signs of fullness or hunger and responding appropriately. 

For example, if baby is clamping their mouth shut, crying or pushing the spoon away, it’s time to stop the meal. 

But if baby opens their mouth for more, tries to eat your food or cries when you take the plate away, they might need a little more. 

‘Eat your greens’ 

Quite often, the more pressure we put on youngsters to eat something up, the less likely they are to actually want to eat it. 

Sometimes just the act of sitting back, taking the pressure off and eating the said food yourself is all you need to do to get your little one to try something new – or finish their greens.

 Avoid letting mealtimes become a battle or a tug of war; try to fight your natural instincts and remain calm during times of food refusal. 

The best way to get your little one eating all these foods? Keep offering them up so that they become familiar with them – and eat them yourself!

‘Here comes the aeroplane…’

I’m a big advocate of making food and weaning fun! The way I see it is, the more enjoyable mealtimes are, the more your little one will associate food with enjoyment and fun – and that will rub off onto the foods they are eating too. 

However, there is a line, and it’s not ideal to turn the action of eating itself into a game, or to use other distraction techniques to get baby to eat. 

This doesn’t really help them learn about the importance of food or eating, and can actually make mealtimes and the action of eating become a bit of a problem. 

If your baby isn’t taking to solids, remember to go at their own pace; role model as much as you can, and try to make mealtimes enjoyable family occasions. 

‘Children in one room, adults in another’

Children and babies learn a lot about food and eating habits from watching, observing and role modelling from others. 

At the beginning of weaning, allowing baby to watch you eat can help them observe and learn skills around biting, chewing and swallowing, as well as learning what foods to taste and enjoy. 

One of my main tips when it comes to feeding infants is to try to get them involved in family meals as early as possible even before they start themselves – and get them involved in family mealtimes. 

Bring them to the table when you eat; I see thousands of parents who have fussy eaters and I believe this can be avoided.

I often recommend the Tripp Trapp high chair by Stokke, as it allows a baby or child to sit right up to the dinner table like a normal chair. 

Even if there are just two of you, social interaction and role modelling during mealtimes can make a big difference to food acceptance, so try eat together where possible, not separately.

If you don’t eat together often, try to make a big deal of it when you do. Distractions away, music on, kick off dinner with a game – any way to make it a little special. 

Involve them in mealtimes with other friends and family early on. Showing them that food is a social and enjoyable part of life can really help encourage a love for food. 

‘Children should eat different meals to adults’

This is really not necessary; families should be sharing the same family meals. 

After your little one has explored their first tastes of food – whether that be finger food or meals blitzed in a blender – they can start having adapted versions of adult foods straight away. 

It is so important to combine meals and allow your babies and young children to see you eating similar dishes. 

This will help them to be involved in the mealtime, to learn what foods you eat as a family, and, usually, more readily accept them too. 

You may need to adapt textures to ensure that baby can manage the foods with ease, and you will also need to leave off any added salt or sugar, especially for young babies.

But other than that, most adult foods are suitable for young children. Lasagnes, curries (not too spicy) and fish pie are all great options to have as a family – and baby can have a part of the meal or an adapted version of it – whatever works for their age and stage of eating. 

Stokke is running a number of weaning workshops up and down the country with Charlotte, in locations including Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol and Brighton. For more information, visit https://www.stokke.com/GBR/en-gb/uk_weaning_tour_2020.html