An author who has written a best-selling book detailing the trauma of living with an alcoholic partner has reflected on how his addiction has shattered ‘her beautiful family’ in a heartbreaking video.
British broadcaster and author Liz Fraser, who lives in Venice, posted the emotional video ahead of the couple’s daughter’s fourth birthday, saying how her ex-boyfriend’s alcoholism has wrecked the dreams she had for the little girl when she was born.
Fraser, 46, published her memoir Coming Clean: a True Story of Love, Addiction and Recovery in September, detailing how Mike, the man she fell deeply in love with – and is now separated from – descended into a life of chaos as his addiction consumed him.
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Liz Fraser, 46, pictured with her little girl. The author published Coming Clean: a True Story of Love, Addiction and Recovery about living with her ex partner while he battled alcoholism – and this week posted a video on Twitter detailing how the hopes and dreams she had for her daughter at birth had been tarnished
Fraser writes in her memoir how ‘at the height of his addiction, Mike was so saturated by alcohol and anxiety he was barely able to think or function normally’.
At one point she writes: ‘We argued whenever we saw each other and the rows were sharp, vicious and worse every time; I was called a b***h, a t**t, a saggy old wench and some words I don’t even know but it’s fair to say they were not entirely complimentary Fife-isms.
‘Objects were often thrown and kicked. I was told he hated me and ordered to move out of his way or he’d hit me.
‘In one bizarre episode he accused me of getting him kicked out of the hostel where he was staying – “You f***ing moron, they threw all my things out because of you” – when in fact, when I called the hostel to ask about this, it turned out he’d checked himself out, left some things in his room and they’d kindly put them in a box in the office for him to collect.’
She also estimates that his addiction cost her around £25,000, totting up both the money that she gave him and the financial costs she had to bear as a result of his drinking.
Fraser told her followers how she felt ‘so damn lonely’ celebrating her daughter’s birthday alone with her for the third year of her young life, reflecting: ‘I wanted her to have the most wonderful, happy life and our beautiful family and it all went so wrong’
In the short clip posted this week, the day before her daughter turned four, mother-of-four Fraser admitted that it was ‘so damned lonely’ marking the special day with just her and her little girl – for the third year in a row.
She said: ‘I know it’s so stupid to record yourself crying and then share it on social media but I’m kind of on my own out here.
‘It’s my daughter’s fourth birthday tomorrow and I think especially as mothers, sorry dads, it’s the anniversary of when we gave birth, which is an enormous thing and I had no chance to really recover from that.’
The author’s book about falling for a man addicted to alcohol and the impact on their relationship has become a best-seller
Fraser went on: ‘I remember when she was born, I remember holding her and saying “hello” and I wanted her to have the most wonderful, happy life and our beautiful family and it all went so wrong.’
The video, which has been viewed more than 16,000 times ends with her saying: ‘You have these ideas of what you want for your children and you just do you best and it makes me sad.’
Thanking those who’ve read her book, the author told her 13,100 followers on Twitter after sharing the searingly honest video: ‘I’ll get told off for posting this, but you know…it’s been so damned lonely and hard, and it’s her 4th birthday tomorrow, and a lot has just hit home.
‘Thank you for every kindness you’ve sent me over these last hard 4 years. For reading my book, and for supporting us.’
Fraser moved to Venice, where she runs writing retreats, with her ex-partner when their daughter was just 18 months old but Mike’s addiction worsened.
Fraser made the decision to return to the UK following a destructive argument that saw him consumed with rage and her fleeing the next morning with their daughter.
She reveals that a final letter to the man she loved told him: ‘Mike, my love, you have completely broken my life’ and later reveals that enduring his addiction left her with ‘severe PTSD’.
Her former partner is currently in recovery but the couple separated ahead of the book being published.
Mother and daughter now live in Venice; Fraser estimates she’s spent around £25,000 of her own money on dealing with the effects of her former partner’s drinking; he’s currently sober
Coming Clean: a True Story of Love, Addiction and Recovery by Liz Fraser is out now (Bloomsbury Green Tea, £16.99)